The world was shocked on December 30th, not because of the return of John Cena or the speculation if the Bloodline (I follow wrestling — it’s my guilty pleasure) would turn on Sami Zayn, but because the childhood hero of many for 20 years finally displayed a sign of aging.
The crowd erupted as John Cena made his entrance in Tampa- it would be his only wrestling match in 2022. Despite the disdain John Cena received for a good portion of his career due to overexposure and the WWE’s insistence on placatory PG values in the name of capitalism, Cena’s absence, and the lack of adequate star power to replace him, set the stage for a return that was nostalgicically embraced by the crowd. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
However, despite the win of Kevin Owens and John Cena over the Bloodline, the trolls of the internet overshadowed Cena’s victorious return. Cena may have mocked his opponents with his signature “You can’t see me” hand wave, but the internet trolls pointed out what they could clearly see—a bald spot on the back of Cena’s head.
I admit, I watched the match. Like clockwork, Cena entered and displayed a hand towel with positive print while making commentary to the camera. He sprinted to the ring and slid frontwards under the ropes. He then ran back and forth, bouncing off the ropes before throwing his hat into the audience. This is Cena’s typical pageantry, which he has done hundreds of times before in his countless matches. However, this time did have a slight deviation. When the hat was removed, the longer haired Cena revealed a bald spot that was more pronounced than Jupiter’s Great Red Spot.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve watched Peacemaker. I’ve seen the Experian commercials. Cena, who has always been an immaculate physical specimen, never showed any serious signs of aging. He even appeared to be aging better than the Rock. So as soon as I saw his bald spot, I had to google my observation- my mind could not process what my eyes were relaying to my brain. Sure enough, the internet was aflame with criticism and dismay over a modern version of a real-life Superman finally showing he is human.
Now, ultimately it doesn’t matter. Cena still looks better than 95% of men. His face looks youthful enough to be at the peak of his acting career and he has the physique of a jacked Greek statue. At age 45, this is a feat. Any criticism leveled at Cena would be instantly dismissed if those same critics dared to look at themselves in the mirror, especially those 40 or older. Additionally, Cena does not appear to have any severe hairline recession. I know he has complained about a receding hairline, but his hairline still looks youthful to me.
Cena is definitely thinning in the crown area of his head, but that thinning is likely exacerbated by wrestling live on TV. First, when someone wrestles, they are sweaty. Water will expose balding. Most hair loss doctors will recommend that men wet their hair to get an honest perspective on their degree of hair loss. A plethora of men like me have some balding or bald spots, but they are unnoticeable unless we shower or go swimming. We can usually cover this by intelligently styling our hair or using a little make up to reduce scalp reflection. Often, dry hair is enough to cover a small bald spot. Balding usually isn’t noticeable until men lose over 50% of their hair in a given area. Second, wrestling on live TV means there are bright spotlights shining directly on a wrestler’s scalp. A spotlight drastically increases the amount of light reflected from the scalp and will mercilessly expose any thinning. It is possible that under normal conditions, Cena’s hair loss is not as noticeable.
To Cena’s credit, he gave no fucks. He showed up, performed, and enjoyed the adoration of his fans. He’s wealthy. He does not have to wrestle any more. He performs because he loves the fans and the industry that lifted him into stardom. Instead of pointing out the Cena is human, fans should appreciate that our heroes do not have to be perfect to entertain and inspire us. Instead, we should delight our heroes can look a little bit more like us! If women need more plus size models for underwear and dove skin care products, men could have a few more celebrities who suffer from hair loss like the rest of us.
It is also worth addressing some false ideas about hair loss that I saw perpetuated by Cena’s appearance. Cena is not thinning or balding because he wore hats throughout his career. Male-Pattern baldness is genetic and affects most men to some degree. Those who are lucky like Cena, experience those effects later in life. Men can choose to use minoxidil and take finasteride if they want to slow or prevent hair loss. These treatments are no longer expensive but must be continued indefinitely to maintain results. Men can get a hair transplant or opt for an SMP to replace hair loss to some extent. These are more expensive options, but have satisfying results if performed by a good practitioner.
Finasteride and Minoxidil could be beneficial for Cena if he is not using these treatments. They tend to have more success with mid scalp and crown thinning than receding hair lines. If taken, these products would likely halt Cena’s hair loss and perhaps regrow some hair. Cena could also get a hair transplant or SMP to camouflage or reduce the appearance of balding in the back. It’s hard to speculate because I do not know if Cena is taking any medications or if he had already had procedures in the past. Finally, Cena could shave his head or go back to a shorter hair style. This would reduce the contrast between hair and scalp and mitigate the appearance of his bald spot.
Ultimately, Cena will be just fine. His appearance on Smackdown led to the most watched episode in two years according to ratings. Fans will continue to embrace Cena and even with a bald spot, he is still the biggest needle-mover for the WWE. Besides, I’m pretty sure he can’t see his trolls.
Dude, Where's My Hair 